Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
Demetri Martin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Okay
Two
Sneezes
Earrings
Annoying
Bless
Ten
More quotes by Demetri Martin
There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
Demetri Martin
I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
Demetri Martin
I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
Demetri Martin
My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.
Demetri Martin
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
Demetri Martin
Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, Done, next!
Demetri Martin
My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
Demetri Martin
I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.
Demetri Martin
I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.
Demetri Martin
They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
Demetri Martin
Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
Demetri Martin
Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
Demetri Martin
Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
Demetri Martin
I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear. I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
Demetri Martin
I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.
Demetri Martin
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin
I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
Demetri Martin
I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
Demetri Martin
Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.
Demetri Martin
I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
Demetri Martin
