Quote

Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Cleaning
Sense
Come
Mind
Something
Would
Sponge
Like
Sponges
Handy

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A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
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I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
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The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
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I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.
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I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass.
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I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
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A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
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I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
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Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
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If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
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I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'
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It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
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I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
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Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
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I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.
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I've never read an article of clothing.
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I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
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