Quote

Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Sense
Come
Mind
Something
Would
Sponge
Like
Sponges
Handy
Cleaning

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.
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What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!
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I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.
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I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
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I've never read an article of clothing.
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Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
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Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
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Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
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The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.
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What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
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Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
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There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
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The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.
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Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.
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I'm a producer on my show, which is great, but it's also kind of a mixed blessing because there's so much responsibility. Everything is a decision. You have to worry about the money, you have to worry about daylight, who we're going to cast and if this location doesn't work out, what are we going to do?
Demetri Martin
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I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.
Demetri Martin
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Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
Demetri Martin
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I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
Demetri Martin