Quote

Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Would
Sponge
Like
Sponges
Handy
Cleaning
Sense
Come
Mind
Something

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
Demetri Martin
Image
I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
Demetri Martin
Image
Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'
Demetri Martin
Image
If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
Demetri Martin
Image
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
Demetri Martin
Image
A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
Demetri Martin
Image
You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
Demetri Martin
Image
I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.
Demetri Martin
Image
There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.
Demetri Martin
Image
When you're wearing an animal costume and something bad happens, your facial expression doesn't change. The animal is deadpan the whole time. If you're skiing in a gorilla suit and you fall, you just see a gorilla who has no emotion. It's just a stoic gorilla, wildly falling down a hill, out of control.
Demetri Martin
Image
Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
Demetri Martin
Image
Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
Demetri Martin
Image
Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
Demetri Martin
Image
Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
Demetri Martin
Image
People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
Demetri Martin
Image
Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
Demetri Martin
Image
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin
Image
If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.
Demetri Martin
Image
I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.
Demetri Martin