Quote

Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Mood
Perfect
Scratchy
Snack
Snacks
Cotton
Candy
Dry
Fabric

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children.' I was like, 'That sounds like a fair trade - especially if they're crappy kids.'
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What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
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I equals all of the ifs added up over time. The ifs, those are the possibilities that's infinite for all of us. Every day there are just millions of them. Time, that's finite for each of us there is no question there. Maybe if you divide choices by the amount of time you have, the real I can emerge, depending upon those choices.
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I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
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I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.
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I just found out that I have more allies than America!
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If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.
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I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. What do you do? I'm a match maker Aw, that's really romantic No, umm... I actually... never mind
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I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
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To me, comedy is a game.
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Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.
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My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
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You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
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I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.
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I'm a producer on my show, which is great, but it's also kind of a mixed blessing because there's so much responsibility. Everything is a decision. You have to worry about the money, you have to worry about daylight, who we're going to cast and if this location doesn't work out, what are we going to do?
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A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.
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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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