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The earth without art is just eh.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Earth
Without
Art

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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99.99% of all castles in America are located in fish tanks.
Demetri Martin
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How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
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I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
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Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, Done, next!
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I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
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When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?
Demetri Martin
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Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.
Demetri Martin
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To me, comedy is a game.
Demetri Martin
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
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A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
Demetri Martin
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I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.
Demetri Martin
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
Demetri Martin
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If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.
Demetri Martin
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For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
Demetri Martin
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When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.
Demetri Martin
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The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
Demetri Martin
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There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
Demetri Martin
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If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
Demetri Martin
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I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
Demetri Martin