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I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Snakes
Wanna
Spaghetti
Snake

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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To me, comedy is a game.
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
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What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
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At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
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I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.
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Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
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I just listen to so much music that I like the role music can play in scoring something. I'm not doing song parodies or funny songs, I'm just adding some music to my words. So it's limited and specific, but as a performer I find it pretty enjoyable.
Demetri Martin
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I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.
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Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
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There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
Demetri Martin
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How to be a bouncer: be an asshole stand near a door.
Demetri Martin
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Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
Demetri Martin
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I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.
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I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
Demetri Martin
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You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?
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Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
Demetri Martin
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Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.
Demetri Martin
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It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
Demetri Martin
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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
Demetri Martin