Quote

Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Blessing
Lungs
Blessings
Count
Loud

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
Demetri Martin
Image
The earth without art is just eh.
Demetri Martin
Image
Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
Demetri Martin
Image
My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
Demetri Martin
Image
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
Demetri Martin
Image
I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good. Hopefully it balances out.
Demetri Martin
Image
Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
Demetri Martin
Image
For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.
Demetri Martin
Image
If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
Demetri Martin
Image
If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.
Demetri Martin
Image
The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
Demetri Martin
Image
My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
Demetri Martin
Image
Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
Demetri Martin
Image
I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
Demetri Martin
Image
I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear. I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
Demetri Martin
Image
I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
Demetri Martin
Image
I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
Demetri Martin
Image
The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
Demetri Martin