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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Really
Nostalgia
Remember
Used

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.
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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
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When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.
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A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
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A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
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Leave no stone unturned in your quest to disrupt a rock garden.
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I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.
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Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.
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Last week I lost my temper in my karate class. Man, I'm not doing that again until I'm a black belt. Because I can tell you there's a difference between taking karate and receiving karate.
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Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.
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Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
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People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
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Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
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I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.
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Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.
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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
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A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.
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When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.
Demetri Martin