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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Remember
Used
Really
Nostalgia

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A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
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The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.
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My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
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I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.
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Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.
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My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
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If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
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It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
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I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.
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When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.
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It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
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Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
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Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
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I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
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A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'
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Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
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