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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Nostalgia
Remember
Used
Really

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I'm not a lawmaker, but I was thinking that if you have a really loud ring tone, maybe you should be stabbed in the ear?
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'
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Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
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I go the gym and I try to run on the treadmill and I listen to music but it doesn't motivate me enough. So I'm going to get a recording of a pack of wolves gaining on me. People would be like, 'Why is that guy crying on that treadmill over there?' 'I don't know, but he's been yelling, 'help' for like 20 minutes. He's getting a good workout.
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
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I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
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Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.
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One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'
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The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
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Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.
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Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
Demetri Martin