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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Nostalgia
Remember
Used
Really
More quotes by Demetri Martin
Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
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My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
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I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
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Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.
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My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
Demetri Martin
There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
Demetri Martin
Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
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It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
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Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.
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I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
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I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. What do you do? I'm a match maker Aw, that's really romantic No, umm... I actually... never mind
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I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children.' I was like, 'That sounds like a fair trade - especially if they're crappy kids.'
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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
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I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.
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I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.
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I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.
Demetri Martin
Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
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