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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Leafs
Leaf
Equal
Fall
Beautiful
Find
Things
Motorcycle
Jerk
More quotes by Demetri Martin
People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
Demetri Martin
I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
Demetri Martin
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
Demetri Martin
I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.
Demetri Martin
Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.
Demetri Martin
Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
Demetri Martin
The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
Demetri Martin
The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.
Demetri Martin
One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'
Demetri Martin
I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
Demetri Martin
I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.
Demetri Martin
A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.
Demetri Martin
You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
Demetri Martin
Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.
Demetri Martin
Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.
Demetri Martin
I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.
Demetri Martin
I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
Demetri Martin
If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.
Demetri Martin
Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
Demetri Martin
My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
Demetri Martin
