Quote

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Sweatshops
Therefore
Clothes
Working
Children
Make
Men

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.
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I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'
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When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.
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I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.
Demetri Martin
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When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
Demetri Martin
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How to be a bouncer: be an asshole stand near a door.
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I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
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A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.
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If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
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I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.
Demetri Martin
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My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
Demetri Martin
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You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
Demetri Martin
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REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
Demetri Martin
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I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
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Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
Demetri Martin
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Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.
Demetri Martin
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I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.
Demetri Martin
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One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'
Demetri Martin