Quote

Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Face
Faces
Caution
Doesn
Facing
Back
Throw
Right
Whenever
Way
Blow
Make
Wind
Sure

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
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It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.
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Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
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If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
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The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
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I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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99.99% of all castles in America are located in fish tanks.
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I just listen to so much music that I like the role music can play in scoring something. I'm not doing song parodies or funny songs, I'm just adding some music to my words. So it's limited and specific, but as a performer I find it pretty enjoyable.
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When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?
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Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
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Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
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The shortest distance between two idiots is a conga line.
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Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.
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It is impossible for a cyclops to wink.
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