Quote

A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Opposite
Opposites
Refrigerator
Drug
Refrigerators
Moving
Addict
House
Addiction
Moves
Starts
Boxes

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
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I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
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It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
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I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.
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I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.
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You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
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I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
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I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.
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I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
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Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
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Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
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I'm a producer on my show, which is great, but it's also kind of a mixed blessing because there's so much responsibility. Everything is a decision. You have to worry about the money, you have to worry about daylight, who we're going to cast and if this location doesn't work out, what are we going to do?
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Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.
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I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'
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I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'
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Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
Demetri Martin
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Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name... ..DJ Abraham Lincoln
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There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.
Demetri Martin