Quote

I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Goths
Times
Look
Goth
Looks
Gothic
Like
Appropriate
Lonely
Completely
Stupid
Wonder

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One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'
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I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'
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My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
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I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
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I equals all of the ifs added up over time. The ifs, those are the possibilities that's infinite for all of us. Every day there are just millions of them. Time, that's finite for each of us there is no question there. Maybe if you divide choices by the amount of time you have, the real I can emerge, depending upon those choices.
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If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
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I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear. I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
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Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, Done, next!
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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
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At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
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I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
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Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
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I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
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Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
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I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
Demetri Martin