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I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
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Appropriate
Lonely
Completely
Stupid
Wonder
Times
Goths
Look
Goth
Looks
Gothic
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
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I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.
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I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.
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The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
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Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name... ..DJ Abraham Lincoln
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You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
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A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.
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If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
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I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.
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Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.
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My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
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Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
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I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
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The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.
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Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'
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When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?
Demetri Martin
