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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Still
Runway
Jumped
Airplane
Thank
Realized
Forgotten
Soon
Parachute
Stills
Parachutes
More quotes by Demetri Martin
REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
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The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
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Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.
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I just listen to so much music that I like the role music can play in scoring something. I'm not doing song parodies or funny songs, I'm just adding some music to my words. So it's limited and specific, but as a performer I find it pretty enjoyable.
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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
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I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass.
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I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
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I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
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I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
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I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
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I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.
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Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.
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Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.
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I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.
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Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
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The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.
Demetri Martin
