Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
Demetri Martin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Design
Also
Look
Looks
Good
Would
Tattoo
Drawing
Cool
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
Demetri Martin
To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
Demetri Martin
I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.
Demetri Martin
The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
Demetri Martin
I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.
Demetri Martin
I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
Demetri Martin
My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.
Demetri Martin
Once I started to look i finally began to see.
Demetri Martin
Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.
Demetri Martin
I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass.
Demetri Martin
If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'
Demetri Martin
One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
Demetri Martin
If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
Demetri Martin
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
Demetri Martin
I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.
Demetri Martin
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
Demetri Martin
What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
Demetri Martin