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It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Black
Many
Assholes
Preferred
Car
Interesting
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.
Demetri Martin
What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!
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There's an old Russian saying that goes some way or another. I don't know it. I don't speak Russian. But sometimes I think about it and wonder if it's relevant to what I'm going through at the time. Probably not. I mean what do Russian know about hunger, anyway?
Demetri Martin
When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
Demetri Martin
Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.
Demetri Martin
If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.
Demetri Martin
A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
Demetri Martin
I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.
Demetri Martin
Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
Demetri Martin
When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.
Demetri Martin
Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.
Demetri Martin
Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
Demetri Martin
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
Demetri Martin
I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
Demetri Martin
It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
Demetri Martin
When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.
Demetri Martin
I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. What do you do? I'm a match maker Aw, that's really romantic No, umm... I actually... never mind
Demetri Martin
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
Demetri Martin
Once I started to look i finally began to see.
Demetri Martin
It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.
Demetri Martin
