Quote

Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Giving
Specific
Even
Wearing
Years
Stranger
Reasons
Based
Day
Year
Halloween
Give
Strangers
Reason
Dislike

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Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
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One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
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I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.
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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
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Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, I'm not racist, but... I say, I'm not racist, but you look great today. They say, That wasn't racist at all. I said, I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican.
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Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
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I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.
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I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
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The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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