Quote

I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Thinking
Bear
Totally
Dancing
Blame
Worse
Bears
Would
Mauled
Think
Regular

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
Demetri Martin
Image
You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
Demetri Martin
Image
If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin
Image
My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
Demetri Martin
Image
If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
Demetri Martin
Image
The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
Demetri Martin
Image
Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.
Demetri Martin
Image
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
Demetri Martin
Image
Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, I'm not racist, but... I say, I'm not racist, but you look great today. They say, That wasn't racist at all. I said, I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican.
Demetri Martin
Image
When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.
Demetri Martin
Image
A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
Demetri Martin
Image
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
Demetri Martin
Image
There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
Demetri Martin
Image
You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
Demetri Martin
Image
To me, comedy is a game.
Demetri Martin
Image
They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
Demetri Martin
Image
When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
Demetri Martin
Image
I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
Demetri Martin