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Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Tiny
Small
Important
Businesses

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
Demetri Martin
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
Demetri Martin
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The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
Demetri Martin
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People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
Demetri Martin
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If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'
Demetri Martin
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I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.
Demetri Martin
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What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
Demetri Martin
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For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
Demetri Martin
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REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
Demetri Martin
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If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.
Demetri Martin
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If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
Demetri Martin
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I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.
Demetri Martin
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One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.
Demetri Martin
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People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
Demetri Martin
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I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
Demetri Martin
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin
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When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.
Demetri Martin
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
Demetri Martin
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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
Demetri Martin
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When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?
Demetri Martin