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Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Businesses
Tiny
Small
Important

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.
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I can move objects with my mind, if I use my hands.
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There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.
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Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name... ..DJ Abraham Lincoln
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I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
Demetri Martin
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I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.
Demetri Martin
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
Demetri Martin
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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
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I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
Demetri Martin
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Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
Demetri Martin
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I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.
Demetri Martin
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I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
Demetri Martin
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
Demetri Martin
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Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, I'm not racist, but... I say, I'm not racist, but you look great today. They say, That wasn't racist at all. I said, I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican.
Demetri Martin
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To me, comedy is a game.
Demetri Martin
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
Demetri Martin