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A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Good
Uneducated
Would
Gang
Idiot
Guys
Tough
Name
Names
Guy

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The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.
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When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?
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A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.
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I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.
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My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
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If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
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I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. What do you do? I'm a match maker Aw, that's really romantic No, umm... I actually... never mind
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For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
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If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
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I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'
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Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
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I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
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I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.
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People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
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Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
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