Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
Demetri Martin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Trip
Planning
Room
Rooms
Around
Globe
Globes
More quotes by Demetri Martin
The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
Demetri Martin
If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
Demetri Martin
It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
Demetri Martin
I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.
Demetri Martin
I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
Demetri Martin
One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'
Demetri Martin
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
Demetri Martin
I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
Demetri Martin
It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
Demetri Martin
It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
Demetri Martin
Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.
Demetri Martin
Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
Demetri Martin
I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.
Demetri Martin
I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
Demetri Martin
I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
Demetri Martin
It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.
Demetri Martin
To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
Demetri Martin
Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
Demetri Martin
Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.
Demetri Martin
