Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
Demetri Martin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Look
Come
Looks
Real
Yell
Every
Fans
Like
Game
Sports
Games
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
Demetri Martin
I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.
Demetri Martin
Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.
Demetri Martin
My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.
Demetri Martin
It is impossible for a cyclops to wink.
Demetri Martin
When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.
Demetri Martin
If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.
Demetri Martin
At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
Demetri Martin
Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
Demetri Martin
Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
Demetri Martin
I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.
Demetri Martin
I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
Demetri Martin
Why are there not positive mysteries? It's always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about... who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room.
Demetri Martin
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
Demetri Martin
I need to develop some patience - immediately.
Demetri Martin
When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.
Demetri Martin
A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
Demetri Martin
It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
Demetri Martin
I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.
Demetri Martin