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One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Thing
Good
Never
Men
Badminton
Hear
Guy

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
Demetri Martin
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Why are there not positive mysteries? It's always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about... who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room.
Demetri Martin
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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.
Demetri Martin
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I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
Demetri Martin
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A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.
Demetri Martin
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When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.
Demetri Martin
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When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
Demetri Martin
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How to be a bouncer: be an asshole stand near a door.
Demetri Martin
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Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
Demetri Martin
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I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear. I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
Demetri Martin
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If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
Demetri Martin
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
Demetri Martin
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The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
Demetri Martin
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Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
Demetri Martin
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To me, comedy is a game.
Demetri Martin
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
Demetri Martin
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When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out... and yes I'm very ticklish'.
Demetri Martin
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Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
Demetri Martin
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It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
Demetri Martin
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I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.
Demetri Martin