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It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Important
Scheme
Much
Schemes
Something
Grand
Always
Helpful
Things
Wait
Maybe
Waiting
Remember
More quotes by Demetri Martin
Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
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I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
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Why are there not positive mysteries? It's always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about... who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room.
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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
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I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary.
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Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.
Demetri Martin
I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word dictionary, and it said you're an asshole.
Demetri Martin
It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
Demetri Martin
What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
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Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.
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At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
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I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.
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Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
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I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.
Demetri Martin
One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
Demetri Martin
I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.
Demetri Martin
I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.
Demetri Martin
