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When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Balloons
Dry
Holding
Water
Look
Looks
Many
Unnecessarily
Things
Balloon

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.
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When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.
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One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
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Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.
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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. What do you do? I'm a match maker Aw, that's really romantic No, umm... I actually... never mind
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I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.
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Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
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I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
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I've never read an article of clothing.
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.
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I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
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Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'
Demetri Martin
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I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
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I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
Demetri Martin