Quote

I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Kind
Weights
Builder
Weight
Building
Process
Use
Body
Different
Snacks

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
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I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
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My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
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Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, I'm not racist, but... I say, I'm not racist, but you look great today. They say, That wasn't racist at all. I said, I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican.
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Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.
Demetri Martin
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I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
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Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, Done, next!
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Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
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I've never read an article of clothing.
Demetri Martin
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I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.
Demetri Martin
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Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.
Demetri Martin
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
Demetri Martin
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I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
Demetri Martin
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Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.
Demetri Martin
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I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.
Demetri Martin