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When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Rodeo
Root
Roots
Animals
Animal
Difficult
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More quotes by Demetri Martin

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It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.
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I've never read an article of clothing.
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You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
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Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
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I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
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To me, comedy is a game.
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Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.
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Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.
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The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
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I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
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I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
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The shortest distance between two idiots is a conga line.
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I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.
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Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.
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If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.
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I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word dictionary, and it said you're an asshole.
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I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear. I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
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