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When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Animals
Animal
Difficult
Find
Rodeo
Root
Roots

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I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.
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I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
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I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
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A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
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We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.
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I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
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I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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I've never read an article of clothing.
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If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.
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I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.
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Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
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It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
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If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
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I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
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