Quote

When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Giving
Street
Kind
Picture
Way
Okay
People
Streets
Show
Shows
Kids
Pictures
Give
Weird

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
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I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
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A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
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I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
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Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
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Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.
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A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.
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I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
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I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.
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If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
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To me, comedy is a game.
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Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.
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The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
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Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.
Demetri Martin
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I just listen to so much music that I like the role music can play in scoring something. I'm not doing song parodies or funny songs, I'm just adding some music to my words. So it's limited and specific, but as a performer I find it pretty enjoyable.
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Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.
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It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
Demetri Martin