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I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Cards
Thank
Fronts
Front
Inside
Else
Like

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.
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To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
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I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
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Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.
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I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.
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I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
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Leave no stone unturned in your quest to disrupt a rock garden.
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The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
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I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
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I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
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I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
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Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.
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REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
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Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
Demetri Martin