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I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Think
Thinking
Bongos
Favorite
Playing
Sound
Someone

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.
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Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
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The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
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Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
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Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
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Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.
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I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the crazy guy at law school, which is the guy who is not so much crazy as annoying.
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I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
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If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
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If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
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When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.
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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
Demetri Martin
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I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
Demetri Martin
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
Demetri Martin
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I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. What do you do? I'm a match maker Aw, that's really romantic No, umm... I actually... never mind
Demetri Martin
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I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.
Demetri Martin
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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
Demetri Martin
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REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
Demetri Martin
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You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
Demetri Martin