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I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Bowling
Almost
Much
Love

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary.
Demetri Martin
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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
Demetri Martin
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If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
Demetri Martin
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I can move objects with my mind, if I use my hands.
Demetri Martin
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Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.
Demetri Martin
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Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
Demetri Martin
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To me, comedy is a game.
Demetri Martin
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I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
Demetri Martin
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The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
Demetri Martin
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I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
Demetri Martin
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
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I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
Demetri Martin
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The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
Demetri Martin
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If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
Demetri Martin
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I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word dictionary, and it said you're an asshole.
Demetri Martin
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When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.
Demetri Martin
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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
Demetri Martin
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I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
Demetri Martin
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The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
Demetri Martin
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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
Demetri Martin