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I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Bowling
Almost
Much
Love

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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
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Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.
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Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.
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Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, Done, next!
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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
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To me, comedy is a game.
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There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
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I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
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I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.
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A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
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I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
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I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
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I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.
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For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
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If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.
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I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
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The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
Demetri Martin
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
Demetri Martin
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My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
Demetri Martin