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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Ledges
Keys
Balance
Especially
Life
Ledge
More quotes by Demetri Martin
It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
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Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
Demetri Martin
I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
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It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.
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I need to develop some patience - immediately.
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The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.
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Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.
Demetri Martin
Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
Demetri Martin
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.
Demetri Martin
Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.
Demetri Martin
Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
Demetri Martin
Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
Demetri Martin
I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.
Demetri Martin
Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
Demetri Martin
I'm a producer on my show, which is great, but it's also kind of a mixed blessing because there's so much responsibility. Everything is a decision. You have to worry about the money, you have to worry about daylight, who we're going to cast and if this location doesn't work out, what are we going to do?
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It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
Demetri Martin
When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.
Demetri Martin
I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
Demetri Martin
I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.
Demetri Martin
When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
Demetri Martin