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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Life
Ledge
Ledges
Keys
Balance
Especially
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.
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My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
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The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
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I'm not a lawmaker, but I was thinking that if you have a really loud ring tone, maybe you should be stabbed in the ear?
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.
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I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
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My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
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This is a pie chart about procrastination.
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I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.
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I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.
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I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
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I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'
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Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.
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It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.
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I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
Demetri Martin
I've never read an article of clothing.
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I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.
Demetri Martin