Quote

I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Artificial
Looked
Eating
Natural
Made
Wrapper
Flavors
Flavor
Candy

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.
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People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
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If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
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It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
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REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
Demetri Martin
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I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.
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Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.
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Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
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A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
Demetri Martin
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When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out... and yes I'm very ticklish'.
Demetri Martin
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I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
Demetri Martin
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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
Demetri Martin
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
Demetri Martin
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I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
Demetri Martin
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Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.
Demetri Martin
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A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
Demetri Martin
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The earth without art is just eh.
Demetri Martin
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A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.
Demetri Martin