Quote

Last week I lost my temper in my karate class. Man, I'm not doing that again until I'm a black belt. Because I can tell you there's a difference between taking karate and receiving karate.

Demetri Martin

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TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Men
Week
Differences
Karate
Class
Belt
Lasts
Belts
Last
Receiving
Black
Temper
Lost
Difference
Tell
Taking

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I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
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Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
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Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
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I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.
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A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
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A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.
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I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.
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When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?
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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
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You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
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I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.
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If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.
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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
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