Quote

I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Like
Machines
Number
Type
Numbers
Somebody
Atm
Stand
Pins
Running
Types
Away
Near

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The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
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At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
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A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
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One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.
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If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
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Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
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99.99% of all castles in America are located in fish tanks.
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It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.
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Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
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I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
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Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.
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A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
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It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.
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