Quote

When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.

Demetri Martin

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TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Come
Closer
Feel
Thank
Feels
Aware
Trying
Later
Uncoordinated
Years
Yeah
Outrun
Never
Second
Pulls
Like
Saying
Trip
World
Ever
Remind

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I've learned something on the road, traveling around: state shapes. The easier it is to draw the shape of the state, the harder it is to live in that state. So, if you live in a regular polygon, get the hell outta there. You gotta move to a squiggly area. Culture's attracted to squiggles.
Demetri Martin
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I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.
Demetri Martin
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There's an old Russian saying that goes some way or another. I don't know it. I don't speak Russian. But sometimes I think about it and wonder if it's relevant to what I'm going through at the time. Probably not. I mean what do Russian know about hunger, anyway?
Demetri Martin
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
Demetri Martin
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
Demetri Martin
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I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
Demetri Martin
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
Demetri Martin
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Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.
Demetri Martin
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Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
Demetri Martin
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Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.
Demetri Martin
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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
Demetri Martin
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
Demetri Martin
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
Demetri Martin
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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
Demetri Martin
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You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
Demetri Martin
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The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
Demetri Martin
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I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.
Demetri Martin
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I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.
Demetri Martin
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I'm a producer on my show, which is great, but it's also kind of a mixed blessing because there's so much responsibility. Everything is a decision. You have to worry about the money, you have to worry about daylight, who we're going to cast and if this location doesn't work out, what are we going to do?
Demetri Martin
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I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.
Demetri Martin