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It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Sorry
Single
Saying
Also
Enough
Mean

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When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.
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Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
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I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.
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I need to develop some patience - immediately.
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It is impossible for a cyclops to wink.
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Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
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I wanna put stickers on turtles... I don't know why.
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This is a pie chart about procrastination.
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
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I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear. I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
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The earth without art is just eh.
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I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.
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Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.
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