Quote

Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Long
Time
Cliche
Timing
Originals
Original
Everything

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.
Demetri Martin
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I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.
Demetri Martin
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I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.
Demetri Martin
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I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.
Demetri Martin
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I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.
Demetri Martin
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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
Demetri Martin
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Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.
Demetri Martin
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Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.
Demetri Martin
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
Demetri Martin
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Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, Done, next!
Demetri Martin
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If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'
Demetri Martin
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I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
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I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
Demetri Martin
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I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'
Demetri Martin
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I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
Demetri Martin
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I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.
Demetri Martin
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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
Demetri Martin
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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
Demetri Martin
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When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun.
Demetri Martin
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Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
Demetri Martin