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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Think
Thinking
Verbally
Oriented
Comic
Written
Stuff
Thought

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
Demetri Martin
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I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.
Demetri Martin
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To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
Demetri Martin
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
Demetri Martin
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Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.
Demetri Martin
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
Demetri Martin
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I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
Demetri Martin
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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
Demetri Martin
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If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.
Demetri Martin
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
Demetri Martin
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A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
Demetri Martin
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I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
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The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
Demetri Martin
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Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'
Demetri Martin
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If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.
Demetri Martin
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I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
Demetri Martin
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When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.
Demetri Martin
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
Demetri Martin
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
Demetri Martin
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When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out... and yes I'm very ticklish'.
Demetri Martin