Quote

As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Comic
Written
Stuff
Thought
Think
Thinking
Verbally
Oriented

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.
Demetri Martin
Image
Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
Image
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin
Image
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
Demetri Martin
Image
If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
Demetri Martin
Image
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.
Demetri Martin
Image
I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.
Demetri Martin
Image
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
Demetri Martin
Image
How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
Demetri Martin
Image
The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.
Demetri Martin
Image
When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.
Demetri Martin
Image
If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.
Demetri Martin
Image
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
Demetri Martin
Image
A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.
Demetri Martin
Image
When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.
Demetri Martin
Image
I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.
Demetri Martin