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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Verbally
Oriented
Comic
Written
Stuff
Thought
Think
Thinking

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
Demetri Martin
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Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
Demetri Martin
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I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.
Demetri Martin
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I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.
Demetri Martin
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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
Demetri Martin
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When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?
Demetri Martin
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When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.
Demetri Martin
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I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.
Demetri Martin
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Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
Demetri Martin
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What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
Demetri Martin
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How to be a bouncer: be an asshole stand near a door.
Demetri Martin
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To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
Demetri Martin
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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
Demetri Martin
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Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
Demetri Martin
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Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.
Demetri Martin
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I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.
Demetri Martin
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When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.
Demetri Martin
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I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'
Demetri Martin
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I live in New York and there are a lot of famous... pizzerias in my neighborhood, it's really hard to find one that isn't famous. Which sucks sometimes, you know what I mean, sometimes I don't want all that glitz and glamour, I just want something delicious, you know? I don't need a celebrity in my mouth, Ray's Up And Coming Pizza would be fine.
Demetri Martin
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
Demetri Martin