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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Twitter
Internet
Two
Feels
Every
Something
Like
People
Outraged
More quotes by Demetri Martin
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
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Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
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I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
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I've never read an article of clothing.
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The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
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When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?
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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
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To get strangers to hate you even faster, crank up the volume on that very interesting ringtone of yours.
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Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
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I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
Demetri Martin
Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.
Demetri Martin
