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I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
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Definitely
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Made
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Friend
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Girl
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More quotes by Demetri Martin
If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.
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Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
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I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
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I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.
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I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
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I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.
Demetri Martin
I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
Demetri Martin
I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. What do you do? I'm a match maker Aw, that's really romantic No, umm... I actually... never mind
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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
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I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.
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I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
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To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
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I just found out that I have more allies than America!
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It is impossible for a cyclops to wink.
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
Demetri Martin
I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
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I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.
Demetri Martin
Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
Demetri Martin
