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I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Student
Supposed
Students
Kids
Everything
Good
More quotes by Demetri Martin
Another thing that I like and that's fun for me is to try and talk and play music at the same time, because I feel like I'm learning something. There are these little challenges built into it it's a way to push myself a little bit more as a performer.
Demetri Martin
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
Demetri Martin
I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
Demetri Martin
Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
Demetri Martin
A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'
Demetri Martin
I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
Demetri Martin
The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
Demetri Martin
You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
Demetri Martin
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
Demetri Martin
It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.
Demetri Martin
I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
Demetri Martin
Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.
Demetri Martin
I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
Demetri Martin
The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.
Demetri Martin
One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
Demetri Martin
Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.
Demetri Martin
Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
Demetri Martin
Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.
Demetri Martin
I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
Demetri Martin
