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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Makes
Around
Across
Thought
Laugh
Come
Usually
Writing
Walk
Things
Laughing
Think
Walks
Thinking
Write
More quotes by Demetri Martin
Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.
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Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name... ..DJ Abraham Lincoln
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I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.
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I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.
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I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
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I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.
Demetri Martin
I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'
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This is a pie chart about procrastination.
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The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
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If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
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I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.
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I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.
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People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
Demetri Martin
I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
Demetri Martin
There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
Demetri Martin